So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
