i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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