so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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