I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
