R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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