Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to sanitize my soul.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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