I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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