Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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