I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
