Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
