They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize