I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is my gift to your gina
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
