so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
