Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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