I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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