I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
