you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
