my sisters under your porch take her home
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
they're like a gay fantastic four
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
