Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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