Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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