id be glad to
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
After tacos, we're chasing women.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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