based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
