I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
where are my eyebrows?
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