found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
