I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
