im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It was confusing and full of hummus
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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