He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
