after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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