nut hugger
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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