and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
