She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
