i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
