Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
