Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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