Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
