I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
