i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
