She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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