my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A bitchslap is in order.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
