Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
