The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
