Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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