(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
