very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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