who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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