Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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