this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
