I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
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