i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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