I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
