I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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