i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
