I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
