i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
