don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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