there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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