Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
