I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
