I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
