You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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