then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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